


TROUBLE IN SHA KA REE

by DeanandCas



Series: Survival 101 [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies), Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 04:23:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11913126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanandCas/pseuds/DeanandCas
Summary: Seven months have passed since the wedding ceremony in Vulcan. Cas'tiel deals with a very human problem.





	TROUBLE IN SHA KA REE

Dean left the turbo lift and walked down the curving corridor. The glass walls of the building made it possible to see clearly the spectacular sunset outside. Pulling open the collar of his gala uniform, he snorted as he scratched his neck. A mark left there by his husband and accidentally touched made the Starfleet commander change his mood from 'tired' to 'enamored'. He remembered the night before, when Cas'tiel had been particularly meticulous in exploring his body with his lips.

He sighed as he entered the code that would open the door to the apartment in which they lived in Sausalito. The spectacle of nature could be appreciated from that room too, and the golden light bathed the objects the two Academy instructors had chosen to decorate it. They had given preference to a few pieces, only those that had any meaning in their lives.

On one of the walls, an oil painting showed a Vulcan landscape, dominated by rust and red tones. Steep rocks against a purple dawn sky. Cas'tiel had told him that it was a place in the province where he had grown up. On the opposite wall, a holographic image showed a terraformed forest in Oberon, luxuriant in its shades of green against an indigo sky.

On the coffee table, a small sculpture in bluish rock, a gift from the monks of the Order of Zostatok. Dean didn't need it to think of the blue he loved so much, but a nostalgic feeling warmed his chest whenever he remembered the place where he had started learning what happiness was.

He felt comfortable and welcomed in that apartment like nowhere else he had lived before. After all, this was definitely a home, when the other accommodations had been only cold buildings, even his childhood home, since the mother had died.

He took a deep breath, finally perceiving a different odor. Different for that location, but definitely known. The sweet odor of incense reminded him of his stay in Talamir, more than two years before, as it had completely redirected his life.

The memories, however, were not the most agreeable, for he had been in contact with a facet of Cas'tiel which he had not known before. He had violently attacked Dean when he was surprised in a meditative state.

He entered the hallway that led to the bedroom and was surprised to find the door closed. His husband had told him he had the afternoon off and would wait for dinner after the ceremony that Dean had to attend.

Slowly Dean stepped closer. Unsure, he tapped on the door. He waited a moment and nothing. He struck a little harder, debating inwardly if he should step away for a few minutes so that Cas'tiel would be ready to open the door, whatever he was doing.

From inside the room came a muffled response:

"Come in, Dean."

Pressing the green button on the panel, he heard the sibilant sound of the door as it opened. Framed by the beautiful April sky, Cas'tiel sat on the floor, his back to him. He didn't turn around and Dean wondered what had happened to him, dressed in his white meditation robe. Ever since they lived together he had never seen him wearing that garment.

Dean approached cautiously, remembering what happened when he had first encountered that situation. Cas had said it was a way to focus his mind, seeking a solution to some problem. What would be worrying his husband? And why had Dean not realized anything that might be causing Cas'tiel any kind of stress?

The change that had taken place in him gradually, begun with his stay at Ardana, had made Cas more open and affable. These were his qualities now, though he was often still quite serious and reserved. But this side rarely showed when they were just the two of them.

Dean stood behind the husband's back and looked down to see his muscular, bare legs crossed. In front of him, the well-known black volcanic incense burner, from which white smoke rose in silent undulations. He noticed that Cas'tiel's eyes remained closed and he was oblivious to the sky outside.

Recalling what had happened before, Dean was afraid of touching him. But Cas had answered him, so he was conscious. He thought of leaving the room so that the Vulcan would come to him when he felt at ease.

He stepped back and felt when Cas's hand touched his leg.

"Hello, Dean." Cas'tiel said in a greeting without inflection.

Glancing at Cas'tiel, Dean felt his chest tighten. He wasn't in his normal state, clearly distressed. Before he could lower his torso to reciprocate the touch, Castiel stood up and after a moment's hesitation, moved away a little, putting more distance between their bodies.

That little gesture hurt Dean. His husband had never evaded him since they had shared the mind meld in the Dragost Valley.

The Vulcan swallowed hard. He saw Dean leave the room, definitely upset about his attitude. But this was Cas' world now: his emotions, freed from the constraints of logic, took him to places he had never known before.

Never before had he been jealous. It was illogical for a Vulcan to feel jealous, since "affective" relationships were controlled and distant. But Cas'tiel was not like that anymore. Each day a new sensation was presented to him and sometimes he felt totally unable to deal with it. But with Dean's loving help he evolved little by little. Dean was indeed the cornerstone for his growth, as the monks of Ardana had predicted.

But what to do when the teacher was missing? He couldn't rely on Dean's advice in the present situation, when he was the cause of his exacerbated emotional reaction.

Cas'tiel left the room and went to meet Dean in the kitchen. From the doorway he saw him, carefully cutting vegetables to cook dinner. By the ingredients laid out on the table he was making plumik soup, the Vulcan's favorite dish.

An unwanted feeling entered Cas'tiel's mind. _Why would Dean cook that? What would he want to redeem himself of?_  At the same time, a thought came to counterbalance the dispute: Dean often made his favorite food, just to please him, it didn't mean he had done something wrong. Cas was torn between the emotional and the rational side, and it exasperated him as never before.

Sensing his husband's presence, Dean turned and saw him standing at the door. As the gaze remained blurred, the human sought not to be carried away by his emotional instability and asked, calmly:

"I'm making plumik soup, would you like something else?"

Cas'tiel, trying to control himself, asked, his voice artificially balanced:

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"The banquet was too much for me." He replied, feeling Cas' glare at him. He couldn't remember how he could be the reason for his bad mood.

At the mention of the banquet a new wave of anger descended on Cas'tiel's mind. _How could Dean do that? Did not they both have a commitment?_

Dean noticed that Cas'tiel's brow furrowed further and that the tone of his skin became slightly greenish, the equivalent of a human turning red with anger. He could no longer pretend that there was nothing wrong. With a slow step toward his husband, he said in a soft voice:

"Has something happened, Cas?" He stopped when he saw Cas taking a deep breath. "Anything, you can tell me... I'm here."

"Are you sure you do not know anything?"

"What is there to know? If I did something wrong, I didn't realize ... Please, what is it?"

Cas'tiel turned and with hard steps returned to the bedroom. When Dean got there he had already taken off his tunic and was looking for a shirt in a drawer.

"Are you going out?"

"I do not know if I can stay here... with you. I need to think."

"If that's what you need, that's okay, but I can't help but think I did something wrong, tell me what it was, Cas... I don't like seeing you like this."

The Vulcan leaned on the cylindrical dresser and exhaled slowly:

"Dean, please, I need some space."

At this answer Dean moved back into the kitchen. He couldn't solve anything at that moment. It bothered him a lot, but he had to stay calm for Cas.

 

Cas'tiel came back late that night. Dean tried to sleep, but in vain. He hadn't slept alone for many months and had grown accustomed to the Vulcan's warm presence every night at his side.

When his husband didn't come into their bedroom, Dean stood up. It was enough.

He found Cas sitting on the couch, the stone sculpture being turned slowly between his long fingers. Cas' face was still clouded.

"Cas ..." Dean began and stopped when the Vulcan showed the sadness he felt. The anger he showed before was one thing. That new, raw feeling affected Dean very strongly. Ignoring the previous request for space, he moved over and sat down on the other end of the sofa.

He said nothing else, waiting for the other to speak. He would stay there as long as it took.

After a while, the Vulcan turned to him:

"Dean ... I need to know. Is our commitment important to you?"

He knew that Cas weren't speaking of the marriage ceremonies, but of the personal agreement between them, long before the formalities.

"You know that. There is nothing that matters so much to me."

"So, please explain to me... why?"

Dean was confused for a moment. He wanted to know why he had sworn his love and loyalty to Cas? But he knew, had known the answer directly from within his mind that day in Ardana.

"Why?" He repeated in anguish.

"Yes, why did you do this to me? If you were not satisfied with our... arrangement ... you should have told me. Honesty would have been more honorable."

"Who said I'm dissatisfied with... Cas, our marriage is the best thing in my life!"

"So maybe it's me... maybe I am not able to satisfy you. Sexually, Dean. If that's it, please, I need to know."

Dean opened his mouth but no sound came out for a moment. Where had Cas got that idea from? Dean had never been so happy.

"That's it, is not it? Maybe you're rethinking the fact that we cannot have children... I cannot recriminate you if that's the problem."

"Children?" Dean was totally stunned. It had never occurred to him that this would be a concern for his husband when clearly their relationship was perfect and complete as it was.

 Cas stood up slowly, his shoulders leaning forward, the image of defeat.

"Well, I guess I should not stand in your way, then... Go to her, Dean. From what I heard, Lieutenant Harvelle leaves within a few hours to Colony 356... "

"Harvelle? Cas, no, wait ..." He said as he held the Vulcan by the shoulders. "Are you jealous... _of Jo_?"

"She's always been your favorite, Dean, I know."

"This has nothing to do with any other kind of interest, Cas. She was one of my best students.I can't help but feel proud when she received a well-deserved promotion for saving the entire crew of a space station. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, but when she hugs you and pulls you by the hand out of the great hall where the official ceremony is taking place, you will agree that things seem to leave the sphere of teacher-student relationship."

Dean saw the scene Cas described in his mind. And he knew how Cas had seen it, for the ceremony and banquet had been broadcast live to every screen in the Starfleet Academy complex.

"Cas... She took me to meet her parents who came from a far away colony. They were waiting in the outer hall and she couldn't wait for me to meet them. They are from Oberon, like me."

The Vulcan kept looking at him, saying nothing, but in his eyes a small flame of hope flashed. It was soon replaced by an expression of shame that Dean had never seen in that handsome face.

Clearly Cas didn't know what to say. From the beginning he'd ignored what his rational mind told him: from his knowledge of his husband he knew that Dean would never betray him in any way. It wasn't compatible with the man he had known intimately during the mind meld. He realized that his own insecurities had dragged him into that unpleasant situation. Dean had every right to be offended.

What could he say to make him understand? Cas'tiel didn't know how he could do it.

But he forgot he could always count on Dean's love and balance. The hedonist Cas'tiel had known a few years ago was no longer the same man. He had matured during the time they had deepened their bond and now he was more stable and rational.

Dean came over and wrapped his arms around Cas, bringing him close. He said nothing, expressing his understanding through that gesture.

Dean  pulled him into the bedroom and helped him undress. He had made his husband lie down and took him in his arms again, letting Cas' tears of shame and reproach flow until they ceased. He waited until Cas was asleep before falling asleep himself.

 

In the light of dawn Cas'tiel shifted, pressing his husband to his chest. Coming out of unconsciousness he still didn't remember the misunderstanding of the previous day. But the memory came back fast, making him try to move away. A hand tightened on his fingers, preventing him from leaving.

Dean turned in his direction and a shy smile flashed across his face.

"Cas?" He whispered, a way to show that everything was fine.

The Vulcan covered his eyes with his free hand, trying to come up with an apology. Before he did, however, Dean kissed him chastely on the lips.

"You don't have to say anything, Cas. I understand, I'm not upset." Another soft kiss. "I love you."

"But Dean ..."

A longer kiss.

Pulling away, Dean looked at the Vulcan's eyes. He needed to make Cas know how he felt.

"What happened yesterday ... don't worry. I understand. It is hard to deal with all these emotions. If we humans, who  suffer their influence since childhood, we are victims of jealousy, anger, envy... I would never be mad at you for displaying a reaction that is normal for those who are in love... I'm also jealous of you, Cas. It is a natural reaction."

"But I... I totally lost control. When I saw you two together I wanted to punch the screen!"

"From what I know you didn't."

"I did not say anything, I did not let you explain ... I did not hear the voice of reason saying that there was nothing wrong with that... I was completely wrong."

"Welcome to the human race."

"I'm not human, Dean."

"Everybody is human, Cas." Dean replied with a gentle smile.

Cas'tiel finally understood what Dean meant. Everyone was liable to make mistakes, and humans were humble enough to realize that. Cas lived a new reality,  his world opening to a wider perception. Dean had forgiven him, because everyone in this perspective was liable to make mistakes. However, learning from them was essential. Cas wouldn't do that again and his husband knew.

"Are we OK?" Dean asked, touching Cas'tiel's face affectionately.

"Yes... thank you for forgiving me, for teaching me... for loving me unconditionally."

"I love you, very much, and I need you."

Castiel let himself be hugged and kissed deeply. In a few moments they were completely naked and panting on the sheets.

 It was the time for Cas'tiel to learn the concept of 'make up sex'.

**Author's Note:**

> Sha Ka Ree: For the archaic, pagan Vulcans, Sha Ka Ree was the place of creation, the equivalent of the Garden of Eden, Paradise, Heaven.


End file.
